Falling Behind

Falling behind is the theme I have felt recently.

1. I've fallen far behind in updating this blog.

2. I've fallen behind in my online classes that are "self-paced".

3. Not graduating in May....

Reasons for falling behind?

For the first two I can give an honest answer that is simple. I have been immersing myself in the Lord. I have been trying to follow where He is calling me. With that, I have taken many opportunities to go to events by myself. That's scary. But, I can't even begin to describe the amazing things that have come out of me attending things on my own. Conversations that I've been able to have. Prayers with others. Laughs and giggles with old friends. Meeting new people.

Often in life I feel the world is telling me that I can't be alone. To go somewhere alone is a shame. I see this especially on campus when I hear people asking "who are you going to [chapel, outcry, bible study, opus, the concert, the movie, etc.] with?"  I get a weird look when I answer "no one" or "I don't know". Even I find it weird when I see it.

But, what I have found is there is a beauty in being alone sometimes.

If we're being honest the only logical answer for #3 is that my double major just simply wasn't possible in 4 years. Often I find myself feeling like I didn't work hard enough. I feel sad that I don't get to experience these ends with my class.

I'm drawn to Ecclesiastes....."there is a time for everything."

As much as I want to graduate in a few weeks. As much as I want to be done. I am starting to realize that I must embrace the now. I must embrace the new connections I am making. This extra summer and extra semester is a blessing for me. I get a little more time at a place that has given so much to me.

There will be a time for me to update my blog (although it may always continue to be infrequent).

There will be a time when I finish those online classes.

There will be a time for me to graduate.

Right now, I get to enjoy the here and now. I get to stay up late (when I'm healthy).

I get to watch friends get married. (My time will come in the far away distant future).

I get to watch my niece grow up.

It is well. It will all happen....in God's time.